Ask Ayesha: Obligatory Save-the-Dates + Expectations

Happy Monday you gorgeous brides! We're sure you've all had a fabulous weekend filled with wedding planning, swatch comparing, and cake sampling (yummm!). While you get your details filed away in your color-coordinated notebooks, we're back with another Ask Ayesha segment about Save-the-Date etiquette. 

Did you send a Save-the-Date to someone, but now you're not so sure about whether or not you still want to invite that person? Hear what Ayesha advises is the best way to handle this particular topic!

 Jared and Katie in the Morning at 

Too busy to listen? Here's a recap:

If you give a coworker a Save-the-Date, but prior to your wedding day, this coworker is fired - are you still obligated to invite them? 

From an etiquette standpoint, yes. Whether you sent a Save-the-Date because you definitely planned to invite them or because you felt it was obligatory, your recipients will all see it the same way - a notice of a future invite. A Save-the-Date does imply that you will be inviting them, and even if circumstances have changed, it is still somewhat expected that they be included in your guest list.

Keep in mind, though, that when giving out Save-the-Dates, you are not "obligated" to send them to anyone. There are very few things that are "obligatory" about your wedding day. If you're unsure about whether or not you intend to invite someone, don't feel like you must give them a Save-the-Date. You can always change your mind and add them to the guest list later! 

Do you have any etiquette questions you've been dying to ask? Leave them in the comments below and we'll answer them in a future blog post. Happy Wedding Planning!

About Ayesha:

 Ayesha Oglesby of Lofts at Union Square. Expert wedding advice giver for TriadWeddings.

For over 14 years Ayesha Oglesby has been helping Triad brides plan their special day and has overseen over 700 weddings. Event manager for The Lofts at Union Square in High Point, Ayesha believes that every bride is special, every budget is workable, and every wedding is beautiful.

Got a question for Ayesha? Email us at