Ask Ayesha: Have YOUR wedding. Not Your Parents.

Help! I have been engaged for almost three years and every time I begin to try to plan our wedding I get so overwhelmed. My fiancé has a very demanding job; he is always traveling and has very little time to help me. He and I have discussed a few different options and the one that we both seem to like the most is a destination wedding. Recently, we went to dinner with my fiancé’s family and they were all asking how the wedding plans are coming so we took that opportunity to mention that we are thinking about a destination wedding. Instantly, the mood changed at the table and I could feel the disappointment from them. My future mother-in-law broke the silence and said, “Destination weddings are rude…” My fiancé comes from a large traditional family (I don’t) and his mother was concerned that by having a destination wedding she would not be able to show her son off to her hundreds of friends and extended family. But we would rather have a smaller more intimate affair. Is it rude to have a destination wedding? The last thing I want to do is upset my future in-laws.


No it's not rude! This is your day and every bride should have as close to the day she wants as possible. You have been struggling for years to figure out what wedding plans are going to be best for you and your fiance and if a destination wedding is what you want, then you should have it. I recommend that you enlist the services of a planner whose expertise is in destination weddings, or use a travel agency that specializes in destination weddings. Depending on where in the world you would like to go, there could be different marriage requirements/paperwork to legally marry in the country you choose. Having an expert working on your behalf that is well versed on the legalities of getting married in another country will be invaluable to you. Once you have decided on where, provide your guests and close family with as much notice as possible so they can plan. You might not have the wedding that your future mother-in-law wants, but you will have YOUR wedding. Bon Voyage!

  Ayesha Oglesby, etiquette giver and wedding coordinator at The Lofts at Union Square.

about ayesha:

For over 14 years Ayesha Oglesby has been helping Triad brides plan their special day and has overseen over 700 weddings. Event manager for The Lofts at Union Square in High Point, Ayesha believes that every bride is special, every budget is workable, and every wedding is beautiful.

Got a question for Ayesha? Email us at