Oh, the pressure of it all tends to bring out the anxiety in many best men. Sounds like your future brother-in-law might be suffering from a little stage fright coupled with the fact that this is his older brother’s big day so there is an emotional investment as well. There might be a desire within him to make it as close to perfect as possible, hence causing him some angst. The more prepared he is the less chance he has to make a mess of it. Here are some things for him to consider as he prepares his toast:
Plan and Practice
Think about what it is he wants to say about the two of you. Are there interesting anecdotes about you, as a couple, he can incorporate to grab the audience’s attention? Make sure he understands that the overall theme of the toast should be centered on the honored couple. Suggest that he practice in front of a mirror or with a friend who will provide candid, honest feedback on the delivery and content. Try to keep the toast to no more than five minutes. Any longer and he runs the risk of losing people’s attention. Practice, practice, practice!
Presentation is Half the Battle
When giving a toast what you say is important, but how you say it is equally, if not more, important. Advise him to be aware of his posture; slouching is not acceptable. Stand tall and confident, speak clearly and loudly, enunciate your words and try to make eye contact with the audience. Have him do his best to memorize the toast but if he feels he needs prompting he can use index cards with keywords. Please encourage him NOT to read his toast from a sheet of paper.
Better to be Safe Than Sorry
The use of profanity or curse words is never appropriate in a wedding toast. Keep it clean. I also suggest that he refrain from consuming alcohol prior to giving the wedding toast. Although a drink or two can sometimes calm the nerves, it can also lead to slurred speech, incoherent ramblings and irrational thinking. Remember, there will be someone, somewhere in the room, recording every moment.
For over 14 years Ayesha Oglesby has been helping Triad brides plan their special day and has overseen over 700 weddings. Event manager for The Lofts at Union Square in High Point, Ayesha believes that every bride is special, every budget is workable, and every wedding is beautiful.
Got a question for Ayesha? Email us at AskAyesha@TriadWeddings.com.