Ask Ayesha: Questions from Readers!

We really have our hearts set on an evening candlelight ceremony and reception but are concerned about the effect our mood lighting will have on our pictures. What do you think?

Answer:

It is your day and you should have the mood you want! Go with your heart’s desire, but do your homework when selecting a photographer. This is one category in which I do not recommend that you cut corners. An experienced professional photographer will have no difficulty shooting your wedding in low lighting. A professional will also bring additional lighting if needed. When shopping for the right photographer make sure to ask to see samples of weddings they have shot in low-lighting situations. Remember that at the end of your big day what will remain are the pictures. Choose wisely.


I really want to get in shape for my wedding but I just don’t have any willpower. How can I make myself exercise?

Answer:

I find that when I am unmotivated to do anything, especially working out, if I know that someone else’s time is also involved I tend to be more accountable. So, get your butt off the couch and find a workout buddy; someone who can provide encouragement, motivation and accountability. Your fiancé is a great first choice. If there is no one that is willing to commit to working out with you then hire a personal trainer; for that matter you could do both. A fitness professional will help you customize a personalized exercise plan that will realistically get you to your goal in the time you have. Get moving!


After months of searching I finally found the perfect place for my ceremony and reception. The problem is that they are not available on the same day. The ceremony location is available only on Friday and the reception location is available on Saturday or Sunday. What do you think about having my ceremony on one day and my reception on another?

Answer:

I think that you could be disappointed in the turnout at your ceremony. Given a choice, I believe more people would show up for your reception than for your ceremony. Unless you are having a destination wedding or your wedding is going to be a weekend full of planned activities, I would stay with one day. If not, I think you should try to find a location(s) that will be available on the same day.


about ayesha:

For over 14 years Ayesha Oglesby has been helping Triad brides plan their special day and has overseen over 700 weddings. Event manager for The Lofts at Union Square in High Point, Ayesha believes that every bride is special, every budget is workable, and every wedding is beautiful.

Got a question for Ayesha? Email us at AskAyesha@TriadWeddings.com

Ask Ayesha: Have YOUR wedding. Not Your Parents.

Help! I have been engaged for almost three years and every time I begin to try to plan our wedding I get so overwhelmed. My fiancé has a very demanding job; he is always traveling and has very little time to help me. He and I have discussed a few different options and the one that we both seem to like the most is a destination wedding. Recently, we went to dinner with my fiancé’s family and they were all asking how the wedding plans are coming so we took that opportunity to mention that we are thinking about a destination wedding. Instantly, the mood changed at the table and I could feel the disappointment from them. My future mother-in-law broke the silence and said, “Destination weddings are rude…” My fiancé comes from a large traditional family (I don’t) and his mother was concerned that by having a destination wedding she would not be able to show her son off to her hundreds of friends and extended family. But we would rather have a smaller more intimate affair. Is it rude to have a destination wedding? The last thing I want to do is upset my future in-laws.

Answer:

No it's not rude! This is your day and every bride should have as close to the day she wants as possible. You have been struggling for years to figure out what wedding plans are going to be best for you and your fiance and if a destination wedding is what you want, then you should have it. I recommend that you enlist the services of a planner whose expertise is in destination weddings, or use a travel agency that specializes in destination weddings. Depending on where in the world you would like to go, there could be different marriage requirements/paperwork to legally marry in the country you choose. Having an expert working on your behalf that is well versed on the legalities of getting married in another country will be invaluable to you. Once you have decided on where, provide your guests and close family with as much notice as possible so they can plan. You might not have the wedding that your future mother-in-law wants, but you will have YOUR wedding. Bon Voyage!


  Ayesha Oglesby, etiquette giver and wedding coordinator at The Lofts at Union Square.

about ayesha:

For over 14 years Ayesha Oglesby has been helping Triad brides plan their special day and has overseen over 700 weddings. Event manager for The Lofts at Union Square in High Point, Ayesha believes that every bride is special, every budget is workable, and every wedding is beautiful.

Got a question for Ayesha? Email us at AskAyesha@TriadWeddings.com


Ask Ayesha: Dealing With Awkward Gifts

I recently had my bridal shower and my grandmother, who is a sweetheart, gave me a guest book. She made a big deal about how she can’t wait to see it used at the wedding. Here’s the rub... my fiance and I had already decided on an alternative to a guest book. We are going to have a ceramic platter that each guest will sign and write their well wishes on. I’m concerned that if I put out both the guest book and the platter, it will be redundant. But if I don’t put the guest book out my Granny will feel slighted. What should I do?

Clearly you really love and respect your grandmother to be concerned about how to handle this. Because the book was given to you by your “Granny,” and she has openly said how she is looking forward to seeing it used you should try to figure out a way to use it. Consider using the guest book for the ceremony only and then at the reception have the ceramic platter for guests to sign throughout the function. This way you have validated your grandmother’s wishes and you still will have your beautiful keepsake. In the grand scheme of things having your guests sign two different things it not a big deal; they will think you planned it all along.

 

Do you have any etiquette questions you've been dying to ask? Leave them in the comments below and we'll answer them in a future blog post. Happy Wedding Planning!

 Ayesha Oglesby, etiquette giver and wedding coordinator at The Lofts at Union Square.

About Ayesha:

For over 14 years Ayesha Oglesby has been helping Triad brides plan their special day and has overseen over 700 weddings. Event manager for The Lofts at Union Square in High Point, Ayesha believes that every bride is special, every budget is workable, and every wedding is beautiful.

Got a question for Ayesha? Email us at AskAyesha@TriadWeddings.com

Ask Ayesha: Firing Bridesmaids + An Announcement!

It's September!! That means we get to embrace cooler temps and enjoy pumpkin-spiced everything! Not only that, but fall wedding season has begun, and brides everywhere are either planning for next year, or preparing for their fall-inspired wedding days.

One of our favorite Fall brides, Katie of Jared and Katie in the Morning on 107.5 KZl, is in the final stages of planning what is certain to be an incredible October wedding. In true Katie fashion though, she's still hooking up other brides-to-be with fabulous etiquette advice from our resident expert, Ayesha Oglesby. Yesterday's segment gives us more advice on dealing with that friend turned bridesmaid turned enemy.

And be sure to listen all the way to the end to hear Katie's exciting announcement with TriadWeddings Magazine and how you can get involved!

Can't listen? Recap below.

 

How do you ask a bridesmaid who has completely changed (due to a factor in her life) to no longer be in your wedding party without making her angry?

When it comes to nightmare bridesmaids, it's a tough line to walk. If you truly want to salvage the friendship, then start with the kind words first: "I love you, I really want you in my life. I asked you to be in my wedding because you're a close friend. But right now with [insert reason for potential change and/or craziness], I really want to be able to support you in that, so maybe it would be better if you come to the wedding as a guest instead of a bridesmaid.

Most importantly, do it from a space of integrity and maturity. Don't stoop to her level and become catty or mean. Simply try to put her first and consider the potential that she may be going through a stage in her life that has changed her.

 

Do you have any etiquette questions you've been dying to ask? Leave them in the comments below and we'll answer them in a future blog post. Happy Wedding Planning!

  Ayesha Oglesby of Lofts at Union Square. Expert wedding advice giver for TriadWeddings.

For over 14 years Ayesha Oglesby has been helping Triad brides plan their special day and has overseen over 700 weddings. Event manager for The Lofts at Union Square in High Point, Ayesha believes that every bride is special, every budget is workable, and every wedding is beautiful.

Got a question for Ayesha? Email us at AskAyesha@TriadWeddings.com.